In yesterday’s post I talked about an app called Calm. It’s guiding my meditation on Seven Days of Happiness. This morning’s meditative practice was another great reminder of how powerful our thoughts are. BRAVO CALM!
Did you know that the way you think about yourself is more directly connected to your happiness than the circumstances of your life?
Your Inner Critic
Let’s talk about the inner critic for a minute. We are often the hardest on ourselves. Our self-talk can suck at times. When we make judgments about ourselves or compare ourselves to others, we are bringing ourselves down. If we are living our lives based on “shoulds” and “musts,” we are going to find ourselves disappointed.
I know I am guilty of this, too. Just yesterday I caught myself comparing myself to another woman at the gym who I thought was in better shape than I am. Hellllllllllllllllo! This thought was NOT helping me to feel better. I paused and thought to myself, “I SHOULD be lifting myself up, not bringing myself down!” And then I took a deep breath and noticed the SHOULD in THAT sentence. Aaaah! I did it again! Wow, this takes practice, even for a therapist! So, I reframed the thought to say, “It would be more effective to lift myself up. I am going to give myself a pat on the back for making it to the gym today.”
This is the power of self-love and self-compassion, ya’ll. We all deserve happiness. If we can find it by taking time out of every day to practice self-love and self-compassion, I know it is possible to feel happier in this life!
Strategies for Practicing Self-Love
- Imagine you are talking with a friend who is talking negatively about him or herself. It hurts you to see them do this. You want to make them feel better. What would you say? If this is a close friend, you would likely show them some love and compassion. Now, the next time you are hard on yourself, I want you to show yourself some love and compassion. Comfort yourself in that same way you would a friend.
- It’s OK to catch yourself making judgments or comparisons throughout the day. Just don’t beat yourself up about it. Simply notice it, and reframe the thought to the opposite thought or something more positive.
- Take care of yourself. This is a big one. We are so often putting others before ourselves and our own needs. Follow the Trinity: Be mindful of what you eat, incorporate some physical exercise into your routine, and go to sleep earlier. It’s amazing how much different we can feel when these basic needs are being met.
- Show yourself a little self-love by doing something that makes you feel good. Take a bubble bath, ride your bike, take a nature walk, do your hair and makeup, have a cup of tea and relax for a bit. It’s not selfish. It’s self-love, and you deserve it!
- Try practicing some loving kindness. This might mean taking time out of your day to breathe and repeat a mantra to yourself like “May I be happy,” or “May I be healthy” or “May I be at peace.”